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Break Up Plan
Saturday, September 15, 2012 11:44 AM
I've waited like ages to publish this post.
I have a confession: I already broke up with Rydafie.
I really dislike lying to others for no particular reason.
But after the broke up he say,"Can you promise me not to tell anyone about us breaking up until after N-LEVELS?"
And I was like, it is just a promise and it wouldn't kill agreeing to it.
Yes apparently it didn't kill me, but pissed me off.
"I do lie alot last time, but please allow me to be a better person before entering to hell and getting my tongue cut off".
Enough of my rants, you would be pondering questions now, I assume.
Self asked and answered questions:
1. When did you guys broke up?
After the june holidays, which was months ago.
2. Why you guys broke up? You guys were probably a couple that I thought would last long.
There is a reason to everything. And yes I agree to that last sentence, but we didn't make it through and live up to your expectations. I sincerely apologise for your disappointment.
3. But you guys shouldn't break up! Rydafie is soooo good.
Too bad, we did broke up and you can't do anything to change the damn fact. Get over it. Well, "Everyone have flaws, no matter how perfect you think they are".
4. Who break up with who first? (A silly question that people would ask)
5. So why you break up with him? (You're sooooo bad)
I would answer this question later. And yes, I am bad.
6. Do you guys hate each other?
Nah, not that stupid to hate someone that easily. And wish he isn't someone like that too.
7. Current status for both of you?
8. Is there a possibility that you both would patch up?
NO, patching up is like breaking my principle. "You can't go back to how it used to be anymore".
9. Was the breaking up the reason why you "disappeared from school occasionally" which make you guilty/depressed?
Obviously no. -.- I never go school because I don't feel like going to school, definitely not related to all these dumb breaking up issues. I've better things to worry about too. Yes, maybe abit guilty that's why I agreed to make that "promise" and depressed because I greatly regretted after that. Other than that, I'm not at all sad.
10. You're heartless! Rydafie must be sad! He deserve someone so much better than you. Why must you break his heart?! And he appear so fine in school.
Okay, I know he is sad but... I can't help it. Nah, he deserve someone worst than me and I didn't break his heart on purpose. So fair enough.
Hope the questions above would satisfy your curiousity.
I have more to say.
Yes, I don't deny that he is good, really. But certain thing that appear to be perfect and good are really those which are unreachable.
Seriously, don't judge a book by its cover.
Changes - Everyone change. And it really affect our relationship to a large extent. The change in attitudes, the change in tone, the change in satisfactory, the change in interests, the change in everything.
He was still the same guy(appearance) that I knew a year ago. But I can't possibly lie to myself that he never change at all, right?
We suited each other, but that was last time.
It is hard to cope in a relationship when you just quarrelled over the slightest damn thing like "being late for a few minutes".
What the fuck right?
It changes the perspective I have towards him, and it just weaken our relationship.
I know he already noticed, but he simply ignore, because I'm sort of his "first girlfriend" and he can't get over breaking up with someone above average like me.(Not self-praising, that is what he thinks)
You see, we're into different kind of thing. The guy that I knew last year was a person who study and have great goals and dreams. But the guy that I knew this year was a person who study not that much any more and play games and games and games and keep thinking to beat the "student who get the first in 2 consecutive years in our NA badge(You know who I meant)".
But hey, your games are a distraction, and you want to beat that guy with your lesser efforts?
C'mon, his name would be on the board infront of the foyer with the title "Top N-level Student 2012".
I'm not despising you or anything, just stating facts because I know you can make it. You may say I changed alot too, from not attending school regularly and so on. I have my personal reasons and it really isn't childish excuses like yours.
What about parkour and your other friends? It just makes me a little guilty when people say things to me like, "Rydafie never jam with us anymore because he got you. Next time ask him eat lunch with us".
I like to clarify this: But is it really entirely my fault? Partially.
He is so into his gamer friends and games and where would he have the time to have lunch with the "old friends"?
It is just plain annoying when the obvious change in him was becoming worst and I was
And what you want me to do? Whack his computer until spoil and tied him up and dragged him to eat lunch with the old friends and moved his legs for him to parkour? Ridiculous.
I'm going to summarise all of this short and sweet.
Your character change, your attitude change, your views change, your personality change, your addiction in game increases... and so on.
You were never the Rydafie whom I used to know.
And see, we would not last even if I didn't announce the breaking up first.
And there's more I have to rant about you, but I would save it not to embarrass you and make you curse and swear at me every single day when you hate me.
Lastly, I tried my best to save our relationship at its worst. But you make me step back and gave up the thought of second chance.
We were matching but horoscope can never define you and me. After all, we are still ourselves.
We were still young then and I would always keep all the good memories we shared deep in my heart.
Bye Rydafie, you were always a (boy)friend of mine to remember.
But still, I love you because of the awesome memories you left for me to think back.
P.S. The reason why I posted this before N-level ends is not because I want to discriminate him, but I feel horrible and annoyed. And after thinking and thinking again, I ask myself, "Why must I keep it from others and consistently lie to them?"